TALKING TO RURAL CONSERVATIVES
by Celeste Inez Mathilda
Zine #53—May 2026
Talking to Rural Conservatives is short zine about building communication skills, how to talk about politics with people we don't always agree with, and why that's important!
Listen to an audio version of the zine below as well as an interview with Celeste on the Strangers in a Tangled Wilderness podcast.
There’s been a trend on social media that feels important to me, which is leftie rural folks publicly declaring their progressive politics. I’m happy to see it; i want to say a few things about why these posts matter.
I think a common reaction, especially from non-rural lefties, will be something like, “Good, tell those conservative people that not everyone thinks like them. Stand up to them.” Which I get, and I like doing that under the right circumstances.
But there’s something else that’s important about it. What I see is rural lefties declaring their politics in ways that are relatively approachable to conservative rural folks.
I think some people might see this as somehow, like, softening your politics to appease or cater to the enemy. Bootlicking, even. I hope I’m wrong about that, because that’s not how I see it. I think that talking politics in ways that are approachable to conservatives, talking to conservatives themselves, or even talking politics with conservatives, is strategically important and can really help ease some of our anxieties about the state of the world.
Thinking About How and Why We Talk About Politics
There are a few different reasons to talk about your politics, and the approach changes depending on the context.
One is to signal your politics to your peers. This can range from letting people know that they can trust you and that you share the same goals, to performativism—just doing things to look progressive.
A second reason is to discuss politics with your political peers in order to learn from each other, deepen your analysis, uncover incorrect assumptions, develop nuance, etc., which is very important. These conversations happen in community with people we know and trust. This creates space for more honesty, vulnerability, and being able to challenge each other without compromising the relationship.
A third reason is to discuss politics with people who you don’t totally agree with, to see if you can come to a better understanding of each other, why you each feel the way you do, how you each got there, and to find and hopefully deepen your common ground. This has to be done more carefully, alongside relationship building and trust building. If we come across as judgmental or too rigid, the other person will simply reject us and the conversation. This is how we need to talk to most conservatives, rural or urban.
A fourth approach is for confronting people who are willfully, deeply, and actively promoting hate-based opinions. These are people like the ultra-rich, who are destroying everything for their own profit, people who run toxic evangelical churches and incite mass hatred of a variety of groups, people who join neo-nazi or white supremacist groups, people who are engineering, promoting, and recruiting for hate-based movements. These are people who need to be deplatformed, shut down, etc. (There’s maybe another conversation to be had here about how best to decrease their influence without making them into freedom of speech martyrs or fanning the flames. But having a gentle conversation with them is probably not going to help.)
Talking Politics and Mental Health: How To Not Feel Like the World Is An Awful Place
The big struggle I see with how the left communicates with conservatives, especially on social media, is it’s easy to assume everyone with conservative-smelling opinions is in that forth group. It’s easy to think anyone who repeats anti-immigrant, homophobic, transphobic, etc. messages or questions, or who is uncertain about the progressive opinions of others, is actively engaged in hate-based movements. It’s easy to imagine they sit at home frothing at the mouth and looking for ways to make those peoples’ lives miserable. Especially when you don’t know them, and all you’ve got to work with is a username and one comment on a post somewhere.
Aside from this being oftentimes inaccurate, it makes the world feel like a really awful place. If, every time you see someone say something that you might not say, you assume that they’re probably a terrible person, it makes the world feel like a terrible place. It makes it hard to function. It’s really hard on the nervous system to assume that so many people are incorrigible monsters. So for the mental health benefits alone, it’s worth rethinking that assumption. It also improves your activism—the more you can have a regulated nervous system, the easier it is to do tangible things to make the world a better place.
Humanizing Rural Conservatives: Moving Away from Perfectionism and Seeking Connection Where Connection Is Possible
I want to offer some nuance on rural conservatives, not as an apology for them, but as an invitation to see that the world isn’t as awful as it seems, and that most people are, in most ways, basically good. I don’t have experience with all rural folks everywhere, but I think what I see and know will carry over to some degree in most places. What I actually see in practice, both in my current rural context (rural Manitoba) and the one I grew up in (rural Alberta) is this:
A lot of conservatives will repeat ignorant shit they saw on Facebook without really thinking it through. They’ll use the wrong language. They’ll run on the stereotypes. But if you plunk them into a conversation with any of those people they seem to not like, and make it easy for them to interact with that person, most of them will pretty easily default to a chill, respectful, even friendly or curious attitude towards that person. (Most! Not all! But most!)
One thing that it’s important to remember is that the internet is not lived experience, and that the unknown creates fear and resistance. (This applies to the left as well as the right!) Rural conservatives are on the internet getting exposed to opinions about certain kinds of people, but they’re often not interacting with those people, and this makes them really susceptible to fear-based reactions which develop into hate-based reactions. And even if there isn’t the fear or hate, there’s just inexperience, not quite knowing how to act right.
Where I grew up in the 90s was pretty white, and a bit Indigenous, but there weren’t many Black folks. The Black folks who were around were light-skinned Black folks. The Black folks I saw on TV were lighter-skinned as well. When I first moved to a big city and first saw very dark-skinned Black folks, I needed to look at them for a long time. I was probably staring, while trying not to. I didn’t dislike them, but I needed to process them, and it took time. I had never seen someone like that before.
Lots of my neighbors have lived in this area their whole lives and they don’t have lived experience with the people they might share nasty things about on Facebook. What I see, though, is if you get them to interact with those people and make it easy, they will often let go of their internet-based biases.
I’ve seen trans people come out in a small town, and suddenly the whole hockey team and fire department has to process the fact that their good bud is now a lady, and if you give them some time to figure it out, most will, and most will be cool about it.
I’ve seen people who had unexamined biases against brown people end up working with Mexican or Central American migrant workers, and realize that they’re just farmers like they are, that they’ve got a decent work ethic and they’re chill and easy to get along with, and then, no big deal. It doesn’t always go this way, but a surprising amount of the time it does. Many rural conservatives just need to get to know those unknown people, and it helps to make it easy for them to interact with them.
How To Talk To Conservatives: Building Rapport, Getting Political
Okay so what does that mean, “make it easy to interact with them.” What’s the best way to talk to rural conservatives? Here, in farm and ranch country, the short answer is that you talk about the weather, you talk about the crops, you know a couple things about rural life, and you’ll probably be fine.
Example: Last fall on my way home from a music festival in Clearwater MB, I stopped at a small town drive-in restaurant to get something to eat. I guess they call it a drive-in, but you park and walk up to the building. While I’m standing outside waiting for my food, an old fella comes up to order, he’s wearing his clean Sunday best mesh-back cap and his suspenders and his plaid shirt and looks adorably like the retired farmer he undoubtedly is. Once he’s ordered, we look each other a bit. I’ve been at a festival living in a tent for three days, I’m filthy, exhausted, and I recently more or less shaved my head. I’m wearing a realtree T-shirt but it has a print on the front that says “Take it to the Old Gods.” I make friendly eye contact. He says something about the weather. We start talking about farming, and how the harvest is going. We chit chat about what we’re up to that day and what area we each live in. We’re good. He seems a little unsure how to read me at first, but once we can connect in ways he’s familiar with, we’re good. This is how most of my interactions with rural folks (who are usually likely conservatives) go. They can tell I’m different from them, and they’re not sure what to do with me, but if I can meet them where they’re at, we’re good.
Now, if you want to know how to talk to conservatives (or anyone really) about politics, that really does need to happen once you know someone a bit and the relationship can handle it. One general rule I have is that I don’t bring politics up out of nowhere. It just makes people feel like you’re preaching to them or talking down to them. I’ve never gotten good results like that. I like to let it come up naturally, and if you spend some time together, it usually eventually will.
Something I find about rural and working class folks is that they’re less into academic debate and more operating on subtle stuff and body language. If you think you’re about to overstate something to a rural conservative, you undoubtedly are. Nadine Hubbs’ book Rednecks, Queers and Country Music (more about that later) shares a study about how working class men on a construction crew problem-solve together. There’s almost no verbal communication while they do this. It’s almost all body language. Keep this in mind while navigating tricky conversations with rural conservatives.
Some things I can say about talking politics:
Stay curious. Ask yourself why this person has this opinion, why it’s important to them, how they got there, and if you’re not sure, gently ask about these things.
Use vulnerability and openness to create vulnerability and openness. Ie, “Huh, I haven’t heard that take before.” “I never thought about it that way.” “Tell me more?”
Admit when you’re wrong/when they’re right! If part of what they’re saying is true, say so. Emphatically. “Oh yeah, that’s a great point”. This will build trust and make the relationship resilient enough for you to also be able to disagree with them when you need to.
Let them know that you hear them, even if you don’t totally agree. “I get where you’re coming from, that’s totally a problem, but are there other solutions?” If people think they’re not being heard, they won’t be able to move forward in the discussion. This is a huge sticking point with left-right political struggles.
Notice their tone and match. If they’re making indirect, quiet statements, don’t bombard them with an intense rebuttal.
Less is more. Maintaining the relationship lets you do this work over the long term. Blowing it up will end future opportunities to talk about these things, and discredit you and your opinions. If you disagree with someone and you’re not sure yet how direct you can be, sometimes all you need to say is “huh,” or “I dunno”.
If you make a strong statement, keep it friendly. I’ll often say things to people like, “nah, that’s not how that works” but with a smile, or even kind of a laugh. If you can do this in a way that is friendly, maintains connection, and doesn’t feel judgmental, you can say a lot!
Let them change the subject if they seem awkward. Sometimes when you give someone new information or a new take, they need time to process it. Often a shift in opinion comes from many conversations over time, not just one aha moment. Sometimes you can drop a different take on someone and have no idea how it landed, and see resulting shifts in them months or years later. Sometimes you have to play the long game.
Why To Talk To Conservatives: (To Gain Allies, Shift the Political Landscape, and Because You Might Like It)
Okay, so why should I do that, why should I meet conservatives where they’re at? Why have these conversations and build these relationships?
It can be a challenging thing to do, especially when you’re acutely aware that you fit into one of the categories of people that this person may not like. It takes confidence, skill, and nervous system regulation, but my experience is that once you figure it out a bit, it gets easy.
Why do I do it? Personally, because these people aren’t firmly entrenched enemies, and I want them as friends. They pick up some interesting opinions on social media, but they’re usually willing to talk about it if you’re patient and pick the right time. The more rednecks and farmers I can get on my side, the fewer are going to be willing to say a word against me or make my life difficult. If I get those people on my side and they hear something negative about people like me, they’ll be less likely to jump on the bandwagon.
And, the more rednecks and farmers I can shift away from those opinions they picked up on social media, the less harm they might cause or contribute to, in general. Every rural conservative I can connect with is an opportunity to shift the political landscape a bit, and that means building rapport. If the first thing you say to someone is to tell them they’re doing or saying something wrong, you might feel like you’re taking action, but you’ll achieve nothing useful. You have to build relationships with people if you want them to give a shit about your opinions.
Another fun thing about rural conservatives, is they’re often loose cannons. My saying about it is, “there’s always gonna be something.” They’re gonna have really cool opinions about some things and super questionable or very incorrect opinions about other things. When the good things come out, it’s delightful. Realizing you share priorities, goals, and hopes with people who you thought might be your enemy, it feels great. And you learn to have a sense of humor about the bad things. When I meet someone new who seems pretty rad, sometimes for fun I try to guess what the problematic thing will be. Not overtly racist? I bet it’ll be cultural appropriation. Doesn’t like inflation at the grocery store? Cool but I wonder what they think about increasing minimum wage. I’ve learned to have a sense of humor about it—being upset by it doesn’t help anything. There was a time when one or several bad opinions would have triggered me to ditch that person as a friend or acquaintance, but now I look at it the opposite way; if we have some political takes in common, can we work from that? Can they be an ally in those ways, to those causes, and is there room to talk about the other stuff?
Acceptance, moving away from Perfectionism, as the path to sustainable existence and real action.
I used to get upset when I heard bad opinions, and I’d spiral about it and feel like the world was a bad place. Now I kind of react the way I would if a baby shat on my carpet. Like, “that’s kinda gross, and also sort of comical, and you’re just a baby so hopefully you’ll get better at this, and let’s clean it up before it soaks in.” Learning to react this way has improved my mental health and resilience and deepened my capacity to take meaningful action on issues that matter. Being functional and focused is more effective than being upset.
Being ready for these imperfections, and being willing to accept them (alongside of looking for the right time to effectively challenge them! Which is usually not the first time you talk! Build rapport first!), will turn a world full of awful people into a world full of confused, confusing, sometimes comically wrong, but also interesting, at times delightful, and often in many ways good, kind people.
Even if a local farmer has some questionable opinions, they’ve probably also got some wisdom to share. Most people are not entirely bad or entirely good, myself included and probably yourself also. Example: The neighbor that keeps trying to convince me to put roundup on my garden weeds (partly just to get my goat, I think) also taught me that the soil is warm enough for beans and corn to go in when the oak trees leaf out. I love that stuff. I love talking to people who’ve lived their whole lives in their ecosystem and really know how to read it, even if they also love roundup.
Also, farmers are the original experts of DIY. If you want to learn how to do all kinds of things in ways that you never would have imagined—often delightfully trashy but resourceful ways—make friends with farmers. Got a dead car? Cut the seatbelts out and use them as latches on your livestock gates. Need a shed? Stack a bunch of last year’s square bales, and throw some scrap wood and tarps on top. Is the corner post of your fence pulling up? Hang an old transmission on it to weigh it down; if you don’t have a broken one lying around, someone will. Got some spare time in winter? Stack a few round bales and spray paint them like a snowman. Weld some junk metal into a silly little hat for it. (Middle-aged farmer stawbale art is one of my absolute favorite mediums, it just delights me that some farmer/rancher types have this secret creative streak.) And if you let them know that you also roll like that, they’ll probably love you.
Finally, another reason to try and meet rural conservatives where they’re at, which I would love to see more people talking about:
It’s a class thing.
I’m not talking money—a lot of ranchers and farmers around here do pretty good for money—I’m talking class in a cultural sense. I read a great book last year called Rednecks, Queers and Country Music by Nadine Hubbs, and one of the concepts I got from it which has changed a lot about how I think is the idea that different classes have different cultural values, different ways of doing things, and different ways of solving problems.
There’s a lot I have to say about this, how class impacts how people do politics (and how class blindness causes middle class people to create conflict with working class people who don’t do politics the same way they do them), but the short version is, it’s good to learn to have conversations with working class people about politics, and it’s going to be different from talking to middle class people about politics.
If we as middle class people try to have middle class political conversations with working class people, that’s not only a failure to recognize our privilege and adjust, it’s also just ineffective.
This is why I’m happy to see rural folks I follow on social media talking about politics, specifically in ways that will hopefully be approachable to their conservative neighbors. Those conversations have to be done differently than anarchists talking to anarchists or lefties talking to lefties. If we’re not willing to adjust our approach, we’re missing a huge opportunity to connect with people who in many ways are basically good, and bring them onside.
Further Reading:
Hubbs, Nadine—Rednecks, Queers and Country Music
I loved this book. It changed how I think about rural culture and country music. I will say that, for a book that’s strongly centered on class analysis, it’s ironically written in a way that’s really not that accessible to the working class, i.e. hard to read unless you’ve lived in the academic world at some point. I wish someone would make a redneck translation of this book! All that said, it’s a really interesting book and worth the work.
Ehrenreich, Barbara—Fear of Falling
Nadine Hubbs pulls from this book for some of her analysis of the different cultures and values of the working class and middle class. I haven’t read it yet but it seems important and it’s now on my to-read pile. So, I’m sharing it here in case you’re also interested.
Podcast—Dolly Parton’s America
This is a lovely podcast, and relevant because you get to hear a rural conservative woman (and also Dolly) talking about feminism. They hate the word, and yet they embody the concept and put it into action in really interesting ways. The rejection of the word doesn’t equal rejection of the ideals in the way that lefties might assume. It’s useful for understanding how the relationship between language and action is a bit different on the right than it is on the left. And Dolly’s approach to politics is quiet in a way that seems like a cop-out but might actually be pretty effective for some of her fans. It’s all interesting to think about.
About the Author
Celeste Inez Mathilda (they/them) is a printmaker, writer, musician and farmer who makes art about relating appropriately to the more-than-human world. The larger arc of their work focuses on teaching themself as a settler, and other settlers, to be a right-sized part of our ecosystem. They are currently being stewarded by the Aspen Parkland ecosystem, in central Manitoba.
Celeste has an internetless art print/zine mailing list; anyone interested in joining can email at liminal.spaces.handmade@gmail.com for info.