O.R.C.

As the oceans continue to rise (1.5 meters by 2100) and desalinate, US President Bush pretended for a moment to care about global warming, although of course only if it didn’t affect the US economy. While illegal fishing is decimating the arctic, Canada arrested two sea shepherd activists for interfering with seal-clubbing. The USA’s Department of the Interior continues to procrastinate on listing polar bears as an endangered species, while the EPA has basically given up pretending that it will rule on whether or not CO2 is a pollutant or not, despite being ordered to by the supreme court a year ago. Everyone is freaking out as they finally realize that drinking from plastic Nalgene bottles isn’t actually a very good idea: they contain Bisphenol A (BPA), which is about to be designated as toxic by Canada. Of course, Nalgene says that there is nothing wrong with BPA, but will stop using it anyway. Nalgene is owned by Thermo Fisher Scientific, a maker of laboratory restraints used by animal testers. Despite the fact that there’s enough food to feed the world (kept wasted by capitalism and agricultural subsidies), more countries are buying GMO crops because of the current food crisis. Speaking of frankenfoods, PETA, proving once again that it has nothing to do with anything good, has offered $1 million to whomever can grow test-tube flesh for us to eat.